00:00:00:14 [Music]
00:00:08:06 Welcome back to Hottt Topixxx.
00:00:11:29 I am Jim Dupree and let me tell you
00:00:13:22 during the break Jesper here was dissing the harp
00:00:18:12 and I don't know if you are going to be able to hear this,
00:00:19:27 but God is very angry for you dissing the harp,
00:00:23:22 but it brings us to our next topic.
00:00:25:18 There are a lot of musical instruments out there
00:00:28:07 and I have heard that there was a secret chord
00:00:31:01 that David Bowie played and it pleased the Lords.
00:00:34:17 We are going to try and please the Lord here
00:00:35:22 and our topic is musical instruments.
00:00:39:08 No more dissing the harp, God likes that one.
00:00:42:08 But what is the best musical instrument?
00:00:44:07 There are lots, you have got your electric guitar,
00:00:45:28 you have got your electric mandolin,
00:00:47:06 you have got your electric eel.
00:00:48:21 A lot of people think it's a matter of personal taste,
00:00:51:14 I don't.
00:00:52:22 I think that there actually is a best musical instrument
00:00:55:03 and I want to find out what it is today.
00:00:56:22 So we will start with you professor,
00:00:58:25 the best musical instrument.
00:01:00:24 I think personally the ones are entrenched in history,
00:01:03:19 ones that go back to wartimes.
00:01:05:19 People would go into war with a flugal or a flute
00:01:08:20 or something like that.
00:01:09:25 -A bugle. -A bugle.
00:01:11:03 Which is also a very delicious snack.
00:01:13:08 Yes it is quite tasty, salty.
00:01:15:11 You have a bugle and a Fresca.
00:01:16:27 Imagine playing that and everyone loving you at the bar
00:01:18:28 because you are playing a bowl of bugles.
00:01:21:03 But is that a difficult thing, because sometimes they get soggy
00:01:23:23 particularly when you put milk on them.
00:01:25:09 You put milk on your bugles.
00:01:26:29 Well, I think it's originally a breakfast cereal,
00:01:29:19 I don't know, like a delicious cheesy breakfast cereal.
00:01:32:03 I thought it was a snack too, but...
00:01:34:18 I would be willing to try that but I also like instruments that
00:01:38:18 announce their own name like Tuba, or Bassoon,
00:01:43:18 that's a good kind of instrument,
00:01:45:03 because I know what I am getting into.
00:01:46:22 But when I can't really make sense of it,
00:01:48:19 I am through with instruments that are plugged in.
00:01:51:06 Really.
00:01:52:20 I don't like things that have... I like things unplugged.
00:01:54:19 Unplugged.
00:01:55:23 Alright Jesper we go to you, best musical instrument,
00:01:58:28 no dissing and no pissing off God.
00:02:03:12 I will be good Jim.
00:02:04:20 Alright. I have to disagree with the professor although
00:02:07:19 I do admire his opinion but I am all about the plugged in,
00:02:11:05 and I propose this to you.
00:02:14:11 What would happen if an electric guitar and a keyboard made love,
00:02:20:14 you would have the most awesome instrument ever created,
00:02:22:28 the Keytar.
00:02:25:01 The looks of the guitar and the versatility of the keyboard,
00:02:28:00 the portability.
00:02:30:21 A synthesizer in the shape of a guitar,
00:02:32:28 Yes the Keytar, it's a thing, it exits.
00:02:36:21 So this isn't hypothetical.
00:02:38:02 This is the best music instrument. No, no, no, sorry.
00:02:39:26 We are talking about instruments not mythical beings, real...
00:02:42:28 like I want to be able to go in the store and buy one of these.
00:02:44:28 You can get one on Craigslist.
00:02:45:28 I can get you one on Craigslist tonight.
00:02:48:08 In the Casual Encounter section.
00:02:50:17 I exclusively browse the Casual Encounter section.
00:02:53:18 You would have to hope that there was a casual encounter
00:02:55:08 with someone who plays the Keytar.
00:02:57:05 Okay alright.
00:02:58:08 Okay, Keytar that's the instrument, alright.
00:03:02:01 Over to you, go on, down the line.
00:03:06:16 You were talking about history
00:03:08:26 and a musical instrument that has been with us through time
00:03:14:03 and I think and you are actually talking about being plugged in,
00:03:18:18 now I don't know how this would work but I think
00:03:20:12 the voice is the best musical instrument there is.
00:03:23:26 Very interesting.
00:03:26:22 Now I have got a follow up question for you,
00:03:29:20 because I think one of the biggest criteria
00:03:32:24 that you have to get certain
00:03:33:27 when you are talking about a musical instrument
00:03:35:07 is how cool it is when you set one on fire.
00:03:38:05 So how does that apply to the voice?
00:03:40:22 How do you set your vocal chords on fire?
00:03:43:27 Now, do you mean set on fire in a literal...
00:03:46:20 I mean literally covering gasoline
00:03:47:15 and light on fire on stage.
00:03:48:21 Onstage, well then that would be a stage trick
00:03:52:19 and someone would possibly die.
00:03:55:28 But I imagine that there might be a way that you could pour...
00:04:00:28 is that gasoline you were using.
00:04:02:19 Gasoline lighter fluid.
00:04:04:00 Lighter fluid whatever of course...
00:04:06:03 -Whiskey. -Whiskey is good.
00:04:07:15 Usually the singer... I mean whiskey is often consumed.
00:04:11:12 So you could have whiskey maybe pour down a little bit of
00:04:13:19 the lighter fluid and it could be one of those tricks.
00:04:15:28 Like a fire breathing kind of thing.
00:04:18:21 Do some fire breathing and then go into the singing
00:04:21:18 but really I mean the voice is...
00:04:23:19 because a voice can sound like a bugle,
00:04:25:28 a voice can sound like a Keytar.
00:04:27:23 So to me that's tops.
00:04:29:08 Excellent. A very very good point.
00:04:30:21 Jesper I want to ask you to do a little role play here.
00:04:34:24 I want to imagine you are the Keytar
00:04:37:28 and you have suddenly created the ability to talk, to walk,
00:04:43:00 you were a walking talking Keytar
00:04:45:07 and you encounter either of these other instruments
00:04:48:09 in a dark alley, you want to rough them up a bit,
00:04:51:07 what do you say to assert your own superiority?
00:04:57:22 Well, first I would set the tempo to Bossa Nova
00:05:01:16 because I think that's the best tempo for fighting,
00:05:05:14 for ducking and weaving.
00:05:06:27 -A little preset there. -A little preset,
00:05:07:28 you get the... boo boo too boo boo
00:05:10:26 and then voice I would say like
00:05:13:08 voice, you are totally played out,
00:05:16:04 you are not cool anymore, you have been ruined by Celine Dion,
00:05:19:22 and then smack and it would be done, it would be done.
00:05:23:12 But when the Bugle plays I would call into
00:05:26:20 my cavalry other instruments.
00:05:29:02 We would have a French Horn coming down the path,
00:05:32:11 a Tenor Saxophone, suddenly all beside me,
00:05:33:24 how would you stop us?
00:05:35:06 Well you probably have a lot of wood ones and I would use fire.
00:05:38:01 So you would light it up.
00:05:39:24 Yeah.
00:05:40:23 No gasoline needed.
00:05:42:04 But with the voice, I would just use the beat-box
00:05:47:19 and beat and box you both down.
00:05:50:23 That's you know what I wasn't really ready for that retort
00:05:53:23 but that is excellent. -Yeah.
00:05:55:28 Professor Kuling some instruments are easy to learn
00:05:58:23 how to play, some are very, very difficult.
00:06:01:22 What do you think the degree of difficultly says about
00:06:03:22 how cool an instrument is?
00:06:05:20 I think definitely if an instrument is near impossible,
00:06:09:03 it definitely affords cool.
00:06:11:01 An accordion that makes no sense to me pressure in and out,
00:06:14:03 lot of keys and you have to jig while playing it.
00:06:17:10 That degree of skills says you are totally cool if you play it.
00:06:19:28 Well professor I respect what you are saying but the only that
00:06:23:22 I disagree with you on is the jigging.
00:06:26:01 I don't think that you have to jig while you are playing.
00:06:29:25 -It's not mandatory. -It's not mandatory.
00:06:31:17 Can we try a little experiment.
00:06:33:00 Can we all vocalize our instruments.
00:06:37:26 Can we get a little voice?
00:06:40:08 Can we get a little Keytar?
00:06:42:02 Can we get a little Bugle?
00:06:43:16 Let's start with the Bugle.
00:06:44:23 What do we play? What song are we playing?
00:06:46:07 It's freestyle.
00:06:48:04 Bugle, Bugle.
00:06:50:21 Keep coming riffing on it.
00:06:51:28 Bugle, Bugle.
00:06:54:26 Let's add a little of the Keytar, and some voice.
00:07:00:20 [Music]
00:07:03:08 Some voice.
00:07:05:09 [Music]
00:07:11:08 Wow!
00:07:13:11 Although we have very different opinions
00:07:16:19 we can all make music together.
00:07:18:18 Stick around because we are talking,
00:07:21:01 coming up after the break about
00:07:23:09 workplace wardrobe, stick around.
00:07:27:06 [Music]