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00:00:07:27 Welcome back to HoTTT TopiXXX.
00:00:11:02 I am Jim Dupree and we are ready for our second topic.
00:00:15:00 It's wedding, it seems like these days
00:00:17:22 everybody is getting married.
00:00:19:28 They are going to a wedding, they are castrating themselves
00:00:22:18 so they can perform a wedding
00:00:24:08 but the problem is weddings are boring.
00:00:26:22 A lot of them are really boring.
00:00:28:08 It's, here comes the bride, blah, blah, blah,
00:00:30:22 love is patient, blah, blah, blah,
00:00:32:13 love is blind blah, blah, blah.
00:00:35:03 So what do we do?
00:00:36:19 How do we make weddings more exciting?
00:00:39:23 Ally, I want to start with you and I want to ask
00:00:42:22 what is the most boring wedding that you have ever been to?
00:00:46:19 I have not been to that many weddings
00:00:50:13 but I think when it was 12,
00:00:53:08 you just not... whatever you are not into it,
00:00:54:28 you are wearing a brass and you are all up to here.
00:00:58:02 Smoking a doobie outside and you don't understand
00:00:59:08 what's going on.
00:01:00:24 Yeah, or they are just pondering at the table, say but I was
00:01:02:26 thinking of this and I hope that nobody uses this for their
00:01:05:28 wedding if they haven't had one yet, maybe they will though.
00:01:08:22 Okay, so I think that, during the vow portion of the program.
00:01:13:28 well, there is two things, vow portion of the program...
00:01:16:13 Yeah, I do, I do.
00:01:18:08 But, we present a PowerPoint presentation
00:01:21:13 of our love to each other instead.
00:01:24:03 A PowerPoint?
00:01:25:25 Yeah, it's just one moment please,
00:01:27:02 I need to set up the screen
00:01:29:18 and you just get people entertained for a minute,
00:01:32:13 but I think we could do PowerPoint of...
00:01:35:03 and do a funny video and a little music overlay
00:01:38:09 and I don't know...
00:01:40:28 The letters would scroll right in.
00:01:43:06 Since they are just saying, I do allowed, I do kind of bounce in,
00:01:47:14 in sort of a playful way in maybe Comic Sans.
00:01:50:00 Yeah, you can do both, you can do both.
00:01:51:12 Yeah, Italic, Comic Sans, maybe even Courier New
00:01:55:22 if you are feeling scripty.
00:01:57:14 Cloust, I want to turn to you.
00:01:59:01 I want to ask... I want to identify the problem.
00:02:02:18 What makes weddings boring?
00:02:04:18 The main problem is that
00:02:07:13 weddings are supposed to be a celebration of love.
00:02:10:02 So get them the hell out of the Church.
00:02:13:05 Get weddings out of the Church. Listen, I am in a Rock Band.
00:02:15:22 I know that when it comes to wedding is a party, it's love.
00:02:19:18 You cannot party, you cannot make love in a Church
00:02:21:28 they kick you out.
00:02:23:18 So what you do is, you take the wedding celebration,
00:02:26:15 you go to a water slide park,
00:02:29:01 you go to a house of prostitution.
00:02:31:16 Wow!
00:02:33:04 A bath house.
00:02:34:11 A bath house, sure, of course.
00:02:35:22 It should be a time when people truly enjoy each other's company
00:02:41:27 and imbibe in alcohol and narcotics and drugs,
00:02:45:28 and prostitutes if...
00:02:48:29 If they are of legal age.
00:02:50:08 Exactly and you know what, it is tradition in my small town
00:02:54:06 is that the bride and the groom have fornication
00:02:59:03 in front of the parents within the first two or three days...
00:03:02:15 And there would also be I know in the Internet age,
00:03:05:11 there is often a video camera as well involved
00:03:07:28 where that would be simulcast onto the Internet.
00:03:11:03 -Sure. -Is that correct?
00:03:12:23 Why not?
00:03:13:23 As you can create a URL for that.
00:03:15:27 Geocities.
00:03:17:20 Savage Bandito, I want to turn to you.
00:03:19:15 I want to ask what are some of your ideas
00:03:22:22 for spicing up these sort of staid occasions?
00:03:26:01 Well, I actually have put a lot of thought on this.
00:03:28:04 I am an ordained minister actually
00:03:29:27 and I have been charged with...
00:03:31:11 What's the denomination again?
00:03:33:09 Baboo Zionist.
00:03:34:15 Okay, ordained Baboo Zionist Minister.
00:03:36:28 Yes, and a lot of people are saying to me, we need a little
00:03:39:05 something more and I am putting something in place
00:03:42:02 and it's basically one word Ninjas.
00:03:44:17 Picture this, you are sitting, you are waiting for the bride
00:03:47:28 to get over stage, frightened and you are just kind of...
00:03:50:24 and you are like man, I could hit up the open bar
00:03:53:10 and then Bam!
00:03:54:22 From the ceiling, a hand dressed in black hands, he would be here
00:03:57:08 and gone and you are like Wow! I am good.
00:04:00:15 Or imagine somebody objects like you know does
00:04:03:23 anyone have a reason he shouldn't get married,
00:04:05:08 somebody goes, I don't, I still, I still love her,
00:04:07:22 shirk into the neck, done.
00:04:10:11 That's how you get it done.
00:04:12:06 I am liking that.
00:04:13:15 That would be like a Ninja catering companies, so to say.
00:04:16:18 Yes. In this day and age, Ninja labor is very affordable.
00:04:20:03 Why is that?
00:04:22:08 Is it an ethnic thing?
00:04:24:27 Well, it's a buyer's market.
00:04:25:29 There is a lot of Ninjas on TV,
00:04:28:28 and a lot of new colleges offering Ninja programs, like it
00:04:33:04 was a big fan, a few years back and now the market is flooded.
00:04:36:01 So you can get a lot of good Ninja labor cheap
00:04:38:07 and they will love to do a wedding.
00:04:39:06 They will even dress in white.
00:04:40:16 I want to get the panel's thoughts on an idea
00:04:42:06 that I have come up with
00:04:43:18 and that's by introducing the element of chance
00:04:47:04 into a wedding and I don't know about you
00:04:50:04 but I really like a good key party.
00:04:52:25 You go in, you drop your keys in the bowl,
00:04:55:17 you don't know who is ending up with who.
00:04:57:08 Why don't we take some of that?
00:04:59:18 The fun and excitement
00:05:00:28 and the oh, my God, what's going to happen element
00:05:04:13 of a key party, put that into a wedding.
00:05:07:08 Everybody drops it, you might arrive as a guest
00:05:11:03 and you might leave as the girl.
00:05:13:07 Could you possibly end up marrying your mother?
00:05:16:28 You could and I think that's part of the fun.
00:05:21:23 Well, I have to think about that for a little bit.
00:05:23:27 Ally, would you attend such a wedding?
00:05:25:20 I would.
00:05:27:12 I think that just throw it out to world,
00:05:29:20 throw those keys in there and say,
00:05:31:09 I am taking home... I'd brought in a mini-van.
00:05:33:21 I am taking home the porsche, the owner of this porsche.
00:05:35:28 Savage Bandito?
00:05:37:09 Well, I have actually been thinking a lot of times,
00:05:38:26 and have been at weddings that are very boring
00:05:40:08 and I thought to myself you know what this wedding needs?
00:05:42:16 A lightening round.
00:05:44:07 You are thinking of who is going to get married, they are
00:05:46:22 up there, and all of a sudden, the wheel of matrimony comes up
00:05:49:01 and spin and next thing you know, all bets are off.
00:05:51:14 I like it.
00:05:52:22 And you are like, no whammies, no whammies.
00:05:56:28 Big money, somebody makes big money.
00:05:58:20 That's right.
00:06:00:02 I have just a couple of notes here that I wrote down earlier.
00:06:02:02 These are just sort of some half formed ideas.
00:06:03:24 I just want to throw them out of the panel
00:06:05:08 and see if any of them stick.
00:06:07:08 I have just written down a couple of words here
00:06:08:29 that could make a wedding better.
00:06:10:26 It says your beasts.
00:06:13:02 Do you have to fight them?
00:06:15:18 I would go to a wedding where people fought beasts.
00:06:17:21 No pants.
00:06:19:07 Oh, that's a given...
00:06:21:08 Absolutely, colorful neon boxers,
00:06:23:19 neon is very big this season.
00:06:24:28 Alright. It says here anti-gravity.
00:06:27:20 Would you get married in space
00:06:28:23 or in an extremely expensive plane
00:06:31:20 that could fly almost out of the atmosphere?
00:06:35:12 Could do that, catering Ninjas might be a little problematic
00:06:38:22 to get the conflict of...
00:06:41:05 Yeah, they like to find gravity, not being a new gravity.
00:06:44:04 Okay, very quickly across the panel,
00:06:46:17 instead of I do what do we say, Cloust?
00:06:49:00 Doing it.
00:06:49:28 -Ally? -Give her.
00:06:51:08 -Bandito? -How about it?
00:06:53:00 How about it. We are going to have to leave it there.
00:06:55:03 Coming up we are talking about the government,
00:06:56:28 and whether we should overthrow it.
00:06:58:28 Stick around.
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