00:00:00:20 Hi! I am Jim Dupree
00:00:01:19 and recently I was approached to endorse
00:00:03:22 my own brand of hot sauce, and I said
00:00:05:28 well okay but it has got to be really hot,
00:00:08:10 I have a reputation to uphold.
00:00:10:05 So they brought me a test batch and I tried it, it was okay,
00:00:12:18 it wasn't hot enough. I said make this hotter.
00:00:14:18 So they came back with a second test batch
00:00:17:18 and hooh, it was spicy, it was right up there.
00:00:20:28 And I said what did you make this out of?
00:00:22:28 And they said we found a dragon, we punched it in the eyeball
00:00:25:23 and collected it's tears.
00:00:27:22 And I said this is
00:00:29:28 Hottt Topixxx.
00:00:33:06 [Music]
00:00:47:08 Yes that's right, this is Hottt Topixxx.
00:00:51:23 It's the place where the big brains come to play
00:00:54:20 to tackle the most important issues of the day.
00:00:57:13 Let's meet our panel.
00:00:59:04 First off we have Rob Scott BiteTV's own Rob Scott,
00:01:02:24 international journalist, welcome to the program.
00:01:05:13 Hey-diddly Jim.
00:01:06:16 -Yeah, it's nice to see. -It's good to see you.
00:01:07:28 I have got a question though, internationally speaking
00:01:10:22 are you ready to get hot?
00:01:13:18 Hot enough to fry bacon on my forehead.
00:01:15:28 Oh Wow!
00:01:16:28 Next on the panel, Acos Achempol.
00:01:20:03 Welcome to the program.
00:01:21:18 You are in the quality control business.
00:01:24:05 Yes. I am the District Manager for
00:01:26:07 the Quality Control Department of Groundnut Proteins.
00:01:30:18 Well, we are very glad to have you here.
00:01:32:16 Same question to you, are you ready to get hot?
00:01:35:14 I am steaming.
00:01:36:27 Excellent.
00:01:37:27 And rounding out the panel, Jesper Delahunt.
00:01:41:07 -Hi, Jim. -Historian.
00:01:42:28 I hope you are going to be able to lend some of that perspective
00:01:44:13 to our discussion today.
00:01:45:18 I hope so.
00:01:46:19 Are you ready to get hot back in time?
00:01:48:18 Yes I am as a matter of fact.
00:01:50:08 Alright. Well let's do it.
00:01:51:18 Our first topic,
00:01:53:07 aliens, extra-terrestrials, beasty-boys,
00:01:56:03 whatever you want to call them, they are coming.
00:01:58:18 Scientists have known this for years and
00:02:00:28 NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory actually is predicting
00:02:04:28 an all-out interstellar war when they arrive.
00:02:08:08 So our first topic,
00:02:09:28 how do we prepare for the aliens
00:02:12:27 and the battle that they are going to bring with them?
00:02:15:28 We start with you Jesper.
00:02:17:28 Well I think you just prepare to die.
00:02:19:22 -Really. -Really, yeah.
00:02:20:28 I mean if they have mastered interstellar travel
00:02:23:16 then we really don't have any hope.
00:02:25:14 As a historian I know that as a civilization,
00:02:29:18 we have basically made a mockery of ourselves
00:02:34:23 to our intergalactic brothers
00:02:36:24 and I think it's about time that they righted the mistake.
00:02:39:05 Acos, we go to you.
00:02:41:20 Well I think that if they are coming
00:02:45:11 and they are going to be coming to start a war,
00:02:47:29 and it's hopeless
00:02:50:08 then we should go about our businesses as normal,
00:02:54:15 and I think too that it would be important
00:02:56:28 to do the happy things.
00:02:58:22 I think baking is probably really good, because...
00:03:02:12 Because aliens they enjoy...
00:03:04:28 Well I don't know what they enjoy.
00:03:06:16 -They would like a good cookie. -I don't know what they enjoy.
00:03:09:07 Or a Biscotti maybe.
00:03:11:28 I am just saying... maybe a Biscotti.
00:03:13:28 If have to guess, what would you suppose an alien baked good...
00:03:18:00 Well, I was thinking muffins.
00:03:19:17 Yeah I was thinking apple cinnamon muffins.
00:03:21:28 Maybe with a little brain inside.
00:03:24:06 No. See this is the thing.
00:03:25:08 I think that we should...
00:03:27:00 I don't think that we should feed them ourselves,
00:03:28:22 I don't think that we need
00:03:30:18 to cater to anything that they want.
00:03:32:13 I think that we should just continue as normal
00:03:35:03 and do the things that make us feel good
00:03:37:22 and baking is something that makes people feel good.
00:03:41:08 We should just bake.
00:03:42:18 Alright okay. Rob I want to go to you
00:03:44:18 and I want a different perspective from you.
00:03:46:26 Some people are saying that the aliens have already arrived,
00:03:50:27 the first wave is here and they maybe actually walking among us.
00:03:55:11 Among us.
00:03:57:05 How do you suppose we should... how could we even tell?
00:04:01:13 What are the kinds of things that you would look for
00:04:03:03 in somebody to see if they were in fact an alien?
00:04:07:22 Well I think it will all depend on the music you play.
00:04:10:16 I think play really bad music and the people who dance
00:04:13:03 are most likely aliens.
00:04:15:08 Really.
00:04:16:13 Really. Well just think about it.
00:04:17:28 When was the last time you danced to Polka?
00:04:20:28 Very good question, a very very good question.
00:04:23:18 Jesper are there certain questions that you might ask
00:04:26:22 someone in order to prove that they are indeed human
00:04:30:00 or they might be an alien.
00:04:31:13 Well I really don't know what you would ask
00:04:34:08 but I really find it hard to believe that
00:04:36:08 aliens are among us because I just don't think that
00:04:39:18 they would have the tolerance to sort of like
00:04:41:18 blend into society and watch the dance
00:04:43:22 that is human civilization.
00:04:45:20 Really, you don't think that they might be able to
00:04:47:19 somehow figure out what it is that we are doing
00:04:50:08 and just amalgamate to it.
00:04:52:28 If you were going to travel to another planet
00:04:54:28 and destroy everyone who lived there,
00:04:56:28 wouldn't you send a little bit of a
00:04:58:28 reconnaissance mission at first?
00:05:00:28 I think it's a perfectly valid tactic.
00:05:03:19 Well yes but I don't know why you can't just go in there
00:05:06:28 and blow it up from afar,
00:05:09:10 then you don't have the risk of casualties on your side.
00:05:13:05 We don't know they want to blow us up.
00:05:14:22 They may just want to enslave us
00:05:16:08 and keep the world to like pillage.
00:05:18:24 And we don't know what their personalities are either.
00:05:20:22 I mean suppose... it's possible that
00:05:23:13 they might really enjoy watching us blow up.
00:05:25:18 So they might come here in that first wave and get to know us
00:05:28:28 and just act as people and then when the time comes,
00:05:32:15 they just go for it
00:05:34:22 and just watch our faces explode and watch us die.
00:05:37:28 That might be enjoyable, that might be a sport.
00:05:39:28 I mean we don't really know, do we?
00:05:41:22 If they are violent, how do you suppose we should fight back?
00:05:44:22 What weapons do you think would be best used against an alien.
00:05:47:18 Like if I was thinking and I am just putting this out there that
00:05:49:28 I was going to start stockpiling weapons in my basement,
00:05:55:03 theoretically, why would I want to have a lot of?
00:05:57:28 Well I think you can do a lot with a little...
00:06:01:01 I think if you have a match and some Lysol,
00:06:05:00 you have got yourself a flame thrower.
00:06:06:06 Right.
00:06:07:17 I have taken caterpillar nests over the trees in my front yard.
00:06:11:03 Those were really small though.
00:06:12:20 But I think... every time I see an alien,
00:06:14:28 it's in a cocoon like format first.
00:06:17:09 If you went in with enough fire and burn the cocoons
00:06:21:07 I think you might have a shot.
00:06:24:08 But why would they give birth to cocoon babies to stop the world.
00:06:27:28 Wouldn't they give birth them up on the moon
00:06:30:04 and then come in to attack.
00:06:31:22 Unless they want them to hatch on earth.
00:06:33:28 Well, I want to turn the tables a little bit,
00:06:35:18 I want to get away from the cocoons
00:06:37:10 and I want to talk a little bit about sex,
00:06:39:11 because some have suggested that the aliens
00:06:41:13 that's what they are coming for.
00:06:43:08 They want a little bit of what they were to call
00:06:45:18 I think human nookie.
00:06:47:18 I want to know Rob would you volunteer
00:06:49:28 to copulate with an alien?
00:06:53:26 Would we be producing any offspring?
00:06:56:18 Yes, I think that would be the plan to create
00:06:57:28 some sort of alien human hybrid.
00:06:59:28 Then I think I would have to do it,
00:07:01:08 because then I would kind of be the first,
00:07:03:23 I would be God of that civilization that comes out,
00:07:06:24 and that's a pretty impressive title I have.
00:07:08:28 The act itself.
00:07:10:18 The act itself, it might be a little weird but really
00:07:13:28 nothing that a little whiskey can't fix.
00:07:16:22 I want to go quickly along the table
00:07:18:28 and I want to ask for your best greetings when the aliens arrive
00:07:22:22 what are you going to say to them.
00:07:24:18 Jesper we will start with you.
00:07:29:22 Welcome and have a cold one.
00:07:34:18 Acos we go to you.
00:07:35:23 I would ask if they wanted a bite of my muffin.
00:07:39:07 Could that not be taking a little long away?
00:07:42:08 Well if they are doing the sex thing then I guess it doesn't
00:07:44:08 matter but... well know I take that back.
00:07:46:24 If they are good looking
00:07:50:03 then I am just going to stay with that statement
00:07:51:28 but if they are not good looking then I will say
00:07:53:28 would you like some of these muffins.
00:07:56:03 Rob.
00:07:57:08 So, do you think you can say. Hey-diddly.
00:07:58:28 Alright.
00:08:00:23 We are going to leave it there but coming up
00:08:02:28 we are going to be talking about languages.
00:08:04:28 So stick around for
00:08:06:28 Hottt Topixxx.
00:08:09:10 [Music]