It's the time of the year when everyone is in the giving mood and the JOPO is no different. I hang with a lot of "A list" clientele and Christmas is always a tough time for people that can buy anything. This year I put together a list of gifts for some of my close friends and enemies, here's a look:

KEVIN FEDERLINE & KID ROCK: A BAR OF SOAP





Team Krock had quite the year in 2006, both co-starred in the musical "The Little Douchebag That Could", but 2006 was the closing act for this fictional story as Pamela Anderson and Britney Spears dumped their dead weight (well, in the case of Britney, most of it). K-Fed attempted a musical career that amounted to sales that would make David Hasselhoff point and laugh. Kid Rock did a whole lot of nothing in 2006 other than hook up with Pamela. The K-I-D attempted to be romantic and take his new bride out for dinner and a movie, unfortunately the movie was "Borat" and Kid lost his mind and called Pamela a "slut" for doing the movie and wasn't "classy" (this coming from a guy who appeared in one of his video's naked on a toilet seat and wiping his ass with Radiohead toilet paper). Federline moved to the world of pro wrestling where he is scheduled to have a match with WWE Champion John Cena on January 1st in Miami, at least he's in an environment where it's good to have garbage thrown at you. We probably won't hear much from these two moving forward, hell I don't know if any females want to see these two again, maybe that bar of soap can be used for multiple purposes between these two.

LINDSAY LOHAN: LEXUS LS 460





This chick is fuckin' insane. Here's to 2007 being exactly like 2006 was for Double L, a blurry haze. Let's look at Lohan's contribution to the U.S economy, at the rate she's smashing up cars, General Motors is going to have hire back all those employees they let go this year. Last I checked Lohan was in AA, it took 2-weeks before Lohan realized her drinking was getting worse but was closer to getting a pilot's license.

BRITNEY SPEARS: Some panties & a leash



Last month during a night on the town, Spears decided to help out the conservationists of America, by contributing more beaver to the dwindling population. Spears had quite the year and was most recently named the "Worst Dog Owner of the Year" according to magazines "The New York Dog" and "Hollywood Dog", who stated:

Britney was the overwhelming choice" for worst celebrity dog owner for 2006. "She once had three Chihuahuas ... and never left home without at least one of them on her arm.

In Spears' defence, she is aware she wasn't meant to be a dog owner and recently divorced it.

TORI SPELLING: $5




Spelling had a rough year in 2006. After her father, Aaron, passed away this year, Tori was denied any of her inheritance due to her mother Candy. Apparently the Spelling family had a couple of issues with Tori's show "NoTORIious" and Candy gave Tori the big FU this year. Spelling has had to resort to yard sales and writing tell all books in an attempt to pay for next month's rent. Marrying a Canadian actor in Dean McDermott didn't do her any favors in the finance catergory either.

AARON SORKIN: More 'shrooms



Let's be honest, it's the source of his genius, can't it be a company expense? Just foot the bill NBC!

ROSIE O'DONNELL & DONALD TRUMP: A steel cage



After seeing this clip I want to see these two fight to the death! I still take Rosie, odds are she will confuse "The Apprentice" for "The Appetizer".

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays! Talk to ya next week!

JOPO