Do you own a universal remote control?

Of course you do. You just call it the TV remote, the VCR remote, the satellite dish remote, the DVD player remote, the sound system remote, and maybe a few others. It seems these days, every single remote that's for any piece of equipment in you living room has "universal" controls. Long gone are the days when a remote controlled just the machine it came with in the box. This has made remotes these days, bigger and clumsier as manufacturers try desperately to fit in as many compatible controls as possible.

And how many of you actually use one remote to control everything in your living room? That's what I thought. And if you disagree with my assumption, you're probably one of the few people who are actually patient and committed (read: anal) enough to go through the manual and figure out how to program the damn remote and then look through the hundreds of manufacturer and model codes to use it for all your fancy gadgets.

If you've managed to wrap all these functions into one handy remote then I salute you. You're a better person than me. I'd have to get a contractor's belt to hold all the remotes floating around my living room. Frankly I could take the time to program "one to rule them all" but I can't be bothered (read: I'm lazy) and I don't like the layout on any one remote for the other electronics it could control and inevitably there's always a crucial button missing that can only be found on the original remote.

Now I could buy a universal remote because apparently some companies think they can do a better job of mapping all these functions on their generic tool but again I'd run into the problem of having to program the damn thing and you already know my thoughts on that. Not to mention I apparently already own all these universal remotes and I don't use them. No I have heard that there are some really nice universal remotes that are stupid proof and work exceptionally well but as you can probably guess, they're FREAKIN EXPENSIVE and I just can't afford that kind of one time expense in my monthly budget (read: I'm cheap, don't judge me).

But I guess I shouldn't complain. It could be worse. I hear that years ago people actually had to walk over the TV and turn the channel manually but the thought of anyone ever getting their lazy ass off the couch to do this is so bizarre to my generation that I think it's just an urban legend.

Cyber Jock