When I was told I was going to be The TV Guyde, the first thing that popped into my head was, "Which show truly embodies the SPIRIT of Bite TV?" In other words, whose bite is just as bad as his bark? There was only one person that fit the bill.

Dr. Gregory House.



Now, if you've never seen HOUSE, this is what you need to know. House, played by renowned British comedian Hugh Laurie, is the head of the Department of Diagnostic Medicine at a fictional medical facility where, with the help of a select team of practicing diagnosticians, he manages to save patients from their extremely rare and difficult to diagnose diseases. This, however, you can read anywhere. You need to SEE House to know what you're getting into. And trust me, you're in for a treat. This isn't your daddy's medical drama.

First things first though. Let's start with the specific episode, called 'Fools for Love.' Aww. Like every episode, HOUSE beings with a scenario where you're not entirely sure you're watching HOUSE until someone falls ill. This week it was a robbery. A few weeks ago, it was an alien abduction. I'm telling you, I never REALLY know if I'm watching HOUSE until the opening credits hit. (The opening music is done by Massive Attack. If you need any incentive, just listen to how sweet that opener is.)

In this robbery, a white man goes AWOL when one of the robbers takes his black wife hostage. I only mention their ethic backgrounds because it's an important thread throughout the show. And so, he kicks their butts. Seriously, he goes medieval on them. Way to set the bar for the rest of us, buddy. Okay, so he REALLY loves his wife. Good to know. Unfortunately, while hes beating another human being to death, his wife stops breathing and falls unconscious. And theres your set-up.



How will House ever solve this one? Easy - as sarcastically as possible. You see, House's charm is in just how bitter he is at the world. Did I mention he's got a bad leg, walks with a cane and is addicted to the Vicodin he has to steal? This all adds up to become what his colleague describes him as, "A miserable jerk who can't stand to be alone." Summed up pretty well, but here's the jist.

He's rude: "That was a dumb thing to say [an hour ago]. Now it's smart."

He's shrewd: "We could spend all day arguing whether we bet or not. Gimme the hundred bucks."

He's lewd: "What we have to do is check out parasites, viruses, bacteria, fungi, prions, radiation, toxic chemicals or if it's internet porn related. I'll check the internet."

And that was all in one episode.



Pushing the show to another level was the guest appearance of David Morse (The Rock) as someone who I can only describe as House's new archenemy. Not that Michael Tritter is bad person by any stretch. It's because House is too witty for his own good that Tritter feels the need to step in and humiliate House, hoping he'll think twice about being rude to anyone again. See, THIS is why I don't like going to the doctor. You go in make sure it's not a rash, you get into a passive aggressive fight with the doctor and the next thing you know he's swabbing your rectal cavity. No thanks. I'll take the rash. But hey, after that, can't blame the guy for wanting to bring down the House!

By the end of the episode, we get two resolutions. Firstly, House deduces the couple is in fact half-brother and sister - having the same father - and both possessing the same hereditary gene that caused their reactions. Yeah, the guy succumbs to early stage symptoms as well. My girlfriend thought it was sympathy pains. *sigh* Dammit, this guy is seriously starting to effect my relationship! Secondly, we discover Tritter is actually a cop and he arrests House for possession of his precious Vicodin without a perscription. We're left with a close up of House's cold, bitter face as the show cuts to black.



I really like this show. I only started this season because my girlfriend insisted and because I don't watch anything on Tuesdays. It was destiny. What I like is that it's still formulaic, working on a Case of the Week system, with no desire of integrating a season-long major plot into the works. If anything, Tritter could be that season-long conflict but I'll keep being entertained as long as they maintain the title character's genius of solving a rare disease by the end of the episode. My one complaint with the show is its distance from the viewer. No, my TV isn't too far away. Unlike CSI, where the viewers at home can guess whodunit from the list of suspects, nothing like that exists on HOUSE. Unless you are a writer for the show or a young diagnostician yourself, youre never going to figure out the disease. The closest I've ever come was figuring out the autistic boy from a few weeks back was eating dirt from his sandbox. Don't ask.

That one gripe aside, your reasons for catching this show each week should fall on its fast-paced wit, the good-looking cast and, of course, Hugh Laurie's acting chops. For all that, Ill stand a little medical jargon here and there. What else can I say?

HOUSE wins!

The TV Guyde