While everyone was tuning into the Academy Awards last Sunday and asking the same questions: Who would win Best Picture? What would Jon Stewart say? Will Jen show up with Vince? The only question I was asking myself was Why bother? To the average movie goer like myself (I have no where near the budget or stamina to consider myself a "Minx"), I look at the Oscars as a 4 hour marathon, and I am really only interested in the opening 10 minute sprint before I jog my TV to a different channel.

The real awards that I look forward to are unfortunately not even carried on TV but rather word of mouth and I can only be talking about the one and only...

RAZZIE AWARDS



It's hard to believe that the movie going community has also been this cynical for only the last 26-years as the awards have past the quarter century mark as the best award show every March. The concept was created by John Wilson in 1980, who was a part of the Golden Raspberry Award Foundation. The winners of such awards are not exactly thrilled with the honour, with Tom Green being the only celebrity to come and accept his award for "Freddie Got Fingered" in 2002.



This years big loser was "Dirty Love", an absolutely terrible movie from the former Mr and Mrs. Jennie McCarthy (this movie was so bad, it ended their marriage).



McCarthy, playing the lead role (Mistake #1), partnered with her husband John Asher, who wrote the script (Mistake #2) about a depressed woman seeking revenge on her cheating boyfriend. This formula for magic was able to rake in a grand total of $58,116 at the box office. Just think about how many pennies people parted to see that piece of crap.



The Worst Actor went to a well deserving winner in Rob Schneider for his tear jerking performance in "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo". I guess there were so many questions left over from the first fi;m that a sequel just had to be brought back. I absolutely hate Schneider, I don't find him the least bit entertaining and when a guy simply has a career based on cameos in Adam Sandler flicks, I think it's time to fine a new line of work. If for nothing else, having his use the the line "You can do it" in "The Waterboy" and hearing every terrible imitation of that line is reason enough to despise this horrible definiton of the terms "comedian", "actor" and "entertainer".



Worst Actress honours went to our favorite Jennie McCarthy making this award number 3 of the night for "Dirty Love" (along with Worst Screenplay) making this movie the 2006 equivilant to "Titanic" in 1998. McCarthy was unable to channel the same level of emotion of drama that her roles in "BASEketball" and "The Stupids" brought out in her. I guess now that McCarthy is gone, ex husband John Asher will be going from Worst Screenplay in 2006 to Best Grip in 2007.



Worst Supporting Actor was given to the always detestable Hayden Christensen, making Canada proud of its lamest export. Christensen could be thrown rocks at over a number of roles he has performed in but they ahd to choose one and decided to go with his portrayal of Anakin Skywalker in the "Star Wars 3: Revenge of the Sith" film. Rumors going around Hollywood have recently linked Hayden to Sienna "On the rebound" Miller. Wow, Jude Law or Hayden Christensen? Can you say changing teams?



Let's not forget the woman that puts the "Ho" in "Hollywood" (though she's had plenty of the last 4 letters as well), Paris Hilton! Hilton took home Worst Supporting Actress for her role in "House of Wax", which I will argue was a very entertaining film if viewed in the right context.



First of all, you have Elisha Cuthbert (minus a finger, but who's counting...well I guess not Elisha) plus you have a night vision scene with Paris, a spear to the head of Paris and a house turning into a portal of fire! If for nothing else, Hilton's death scene was the only time I have been in a theatre and heard a round of applause for a character being killed.



Finally, the worst on screen couple went to Will Ferrell and Nicole Kidman from "Bewitched". I refused to see this movie based on principal because I do not want to see Ferrell in this element, I don't want to hear him as the voice of "The Man with the Yellow Hat" and I DON'T WANT TO SEE HIM IN WOODY ALLEN FLICKS! There are certain movie that you watch to challenge the think tank, but Will Ferrell movies are not part of that category. I want to see him scream, I want to see him yell and I want to see him get angry...A LOT! Let's not get started on Nicole Kidman and that manufactured accent, give her credit as I always thought she was the crazy one in the marriage, but the fact she survived Hurricane Cruise is a miracle in itself. Soeaking of Cruise he won the inaugural Razzie for Worst Off Screen drama for his scientfically mental relationship with Joey Potter.



My personal pick for worst movie of the year was "Flight Plan" with Jodie Foster, if you haven't seen this movie, consider yourself blessed. My early Razzie favorite for 2007 is "Date Movie", which is one of the worst comedies (and I use that term loosely) ever created. Dated referecnes, terrible punch lines and failing to do a proper parody, which is not exactly the toughest thing in the world to do when you already have a basis of what to work with. The sole enjoyment of this film other than the closing credits is the 30 second cameo from Li'l Jon, but by no means is that a reason to spend a penny nor a second of your time with this horrible film.

JOPO