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  1. Man Changes Name To Tyrannosaurus Rex To Better Repel Girls

    Untitled 2 Man Changes Name To Tyrannosaurus Rex To Better Repel Girls

    In an attempt to dissuade women from taking him seriously as a mate, 23-year-old Nebraskan Tyler Gold legally changed his name to “Tyrannosaurus Rex”. After confirming that the choice was not a ploy to dodge creditors, a Judge allowed the new name, which is optimized to repel women.

    “Babes have always been reasonably disgusted by my body, looks and personality,” confessed T-Rex in an exclusive interview. “But I wanted more. I wanted them to actively avoid eye contact and whisper about me when I entered a room.”

    tyrex custom Man Changes Name To Tyrannosaurus Rex To Better Repel Girls

    Rex’s mother, Triceratops Gold, applauded her son’s decision to basically perform a vasectomy on his social life. “I hate the idea of grand-kids, and with his new name, I can rest easy knowing that females will stay far away from my baby boy. There was a period there where I was worried his acne would clear up and suddenly women – at least the homely ones – might find him attractive. Imagine my relief when he took action to render himself the social equivalent of a pile of rotting banana peels soaked in Uranium.”

    Regarding his plans for the future, Tyrannosaurus Rex was guardedly optimistic. “I was thinking if this works out, I might stop speaking English and just roar at everybody,” he said. “Plus I might start biting people.”

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