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2012′s Biggest Big Budget Film Disappointments

December 17th, 2012

There were a lot of great movies in 2012. Avengers, The Raid, and Dredd 3D to name a few. There were also a lot of brutal train wrecks masquerading as films. Let’s take a look at Hollywood’s most painful mis-steps.

We’ll consider the costs (including marketing budget estimate) and Earnings (domestic and worldwide) of these films and talk about why they barely made any money, and sucked a dog’s nut and a cat’s nut.

Total Recall


Cost: 175,000,000
Domestic Gross: $58,877,969
Worldwide Gross: $198,467,168
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 30%

At some point a producer in Hollywood woke up from a wonderful dream, full of hope and happiness. In that dream, he lived in a world where you could take excellent sci-fi movies, re-make them with an inferior plot-line and actors, and still be successful. He was half right, because Total Recall was made. The second part, however, was dead wrong. Everyone hated the crappy re-make, and it barely made back its cost.

Battleship


Cost: $309,000,000
Domestic Gross: $65,233,400
Worldwide Gross: 301,000,000
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 30%

Oh sweet, a movie about one of the most boring board games ever invented. Oh sweet, it’s bassically a ghetto Transformers with Rihanna. Oh look, it tanked at the box office and everyone hated it. A very expensive lesson that shouldn’t really have needed to be learned in the first place.

Dark Shadows


Cost: $200 million
Domestic Gross: $79,727,149
Worldwide Gross: $239,127,149
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 38%

Remember when we thought Tim Burton was awesome? Remember when his movies didn’t follow a grocery checklist that looks like this?

John Carter


Cost: $250,000,000
Domestic Gross: $73,078,100
Worldwide Gross: $282,778,100
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 51%

What do you do when you’ve made every movie idea in the world? Why not dredge up an extremely old and boring sci fi story from like 5, B.C. with a name that does nothing to describe what it’s about?

Rise of the Guardians


Cost: $195 million
Domestic Gross: $71,362,000
Worldwide Gross: $190,762,000
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 73%

This movie doesn’t even look good on paper, much less as a fully realized film. It barely made back its budget, so maybe nobody got fired. But they should, they really should.

Wrath of the Titans


Cost: $200,000,00
Domestic Gross: $83,670,083
Worldwide Gross: $301,970,083
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 26%

Seriously? At least the old Titan movie had charming stop motion effects. This thing was just a junkpile dressed up as a dirt pile.

Prometheus


Cost: $130,000,000
Domestic Gross: $126,477,084
Worldwide Gross: $402,486,687
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 74%

Let’s be honest. Ridley Scott isn’t really much of a genius. Sure, he gave us masterpieces like Blade Runner and Alien, but he also directed the scene in Thelma and Louise when the rastafarian man hot boxed the trunk of a police car. Yeah, that happened.

When he announced that he was coming back to direct a prequel to his most famous film Alien, fanboys went crazy. The hype was unbelievable. When the actual movie dropped, packed with more plot holes than a Kardashian has shoes, everybody and their brother was disappointed.

Cloud Atlas


Cost: Unknown +$50,000,000
Domestic Gross: $26,539,928
Worldwide Gross: $62,814,420
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 63%

At what point are we going to admit that the Wachowski siblings are the new M. Night Shyamalan?