2012’s Biggest Big Budget Film Disappointments
December 17th, 2012
There were a lot of great movies in 2012. Avengers, The Raid, and Dredd 3D to name a few. There were also a lot of brutal train wrecks masquerading as films. Let’s take a look at Hollywood’s most painful mis-steps.
We’ll consider the costs (including marketing budget estimate) and Earnings (domestic and worldwide) of these films and talk about why they barely made any money, and sucked a dog’s nut and a cat’s nut.
At some point a producer in Hollywood woke up from a wonderful dream, full of hope and happiness. In that dream, he lived in a world where you could take excellent sci-fi movies, re-make them with an inferior plot-line and actors, and still be successful. He was half right, because Total Recall was made. The second part, however, was dead wrong. Everyone hated the crappy re-make, and it barely made back its cost.
Oh sweet, a movie about one of the most boring board games ever invented. Oh sweet, it’s bassically a ghetto Transformers with Rihanna. Oh look, it tanked at the box office and everyone hated it. A very expensive lesson that shouldn’t really have needed to be learned in the first place.
Remember when we thought Tim Burton was awesome? Remember when his movies didn’t follow a grocery checklist that looks like this?
What do you do when you’ve made every movie idea in the world? Why not dredge up an extremely old and boring sci fi story from like 5, B.C. with a name that does nothing to describe what it’s about?
Rise of the Guardians
This movie doesn’t even look good on paper, much less as a fully realized film. It barely made back its budget, so maybe nobody got fired. But they should, they really should.
Wrath of the Titans
Seriously? At least the old Titan movie had charming stop motion effects. This thing was just a junkpile dressed up as a dirt pile.
Let’s be honest. Ridley Scott isn’t really much of a genius. Sure, he gave us masterpieces like Blade Runner and Alien, but he also directed the scene in Thelma and Louise when the rastafarian man hot boxed the trunk of a police car. Yeah, that happened.
When he announced that he was coming back to direct a prequel to his most famous film Alien, fanboys went crazy. The hype was unbelievable. When the actual movie dropped, packed with more plot holes than a Kardashian has shoes, everybody and their brother was disappointed.
At what point are we going to admit that the Wachowski siblings are the new M. Night Shyamalan?