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2012′s Biggest Big Budget Film Disappointments

December 17th, 2012

There were a lot of great movies in 2012. Avengers, The Raid, and Dredd 3D to name a few. There were also a lot of brutal train wrecks masquerading as films. Let’s take a look at Hollywood’s most painful mis-steps. We’ll consider the costs (including marketing budget estimate) and Earnings (domestic and worldwide) of these films and talk about why they barely made any money, and sucked a dog’s nut and a cat’s nut.

Total Recall

Cost: 175,000,000 Domestic Gross: $58,877,969 Worldwide Gross: $198,467,168 Rotten Tomatoes Score: 30% At some point a producer in Hollywood woke up from a wonderful dream, full of hope and happiness. In that dream, he lived in a world where you could take excellent sci-fi movies, re-make them with an inferior plot-line and actors, and still be successful. He was half right, because Total Recall was made. The second part, however, was dead wrong. Everyone hated the crappy re-make, and it barely made back its cost.

Battleship

Cost: $309,000,000 Domestic Gross: $65,233,400 Worldwide Gross: 301,000,000 Rotten Tomatoes Score: 30% Oh sweet, a movie about one of the most boring board games ever invented. Oh sweet, it’s bassically a ghetto Transformers with Rihanna. Oh look, it tanked at the box office and everyone hated it. A very expensive lesson that shouldn’t really have needed to be learned in the first place.

Dark Shadows

Cost: $200 million Domestic Gross: $79,727,149 Worldwide Gross: $239,127,149 Rotten Tomatoes Score: 38% Remember when we thought Tim Burton was awesome? Remember when his movies didn’t follow a grocery checklist that looks like this?

John Carter

Cost: $250,000,000 Domestic Gross: $73,078,100 Worldwide Gross: $282,778,100 Rotten Tomatoes Score: 51% What do you do when you’ve made every movie idea in the world? Why not dredge up an extremely old and boring sci fi story from like 5, B.C. with a name that does nothing to describe what it’s about?

Rise of the Guardians

Cost: $195 million Domestic Gross: $71,362,000 Worldwide Gross: $190,762,000 Rotten Tomatoes Score: 73% This movie doesn’t even look good on paper, much less as a fully realized film. It barely made back its budget, so maybe nobody got fired. But they should, they really should.

Wrath of the Titans

Cost: $200,000,00 Domestic Gross: $83,670,083 Worldwide Gross: $301,970,083 Rotten Tomatoes Score: 26% Seriously? At least the old Titan movie had charming stop motion effects. This thing was just a junkpile dressed up as a dirt pile.

Prometheus

Cost: $130,000,000 Domestic Gross: $126,477,084 Worldwide Gross: $402,486,687 Rotten Tomatoes Score: 74% Let’s be honest. Ridley Scott isn’t really much of a genius. Sure, he gave us masterpieces like Blade Runner and Alien, but he also directed the scene in Thelma and Louise when the rastafarian man hot boxed the trunk of a police car. Yeah, that happened. When he announced that he was coming back to direct a prequel to his most famous film Alien, fanboys went crazy. The hype was unbelievable. When the actual movie dropped, packed with more plot holes than a Kardashian has shoes, everybody and their brother was disappointed.

Cloud Atlas

Cost: Unknown +$50,000,000 Domestic Gross: $26,539,928 Worldwide Gross: $62,814,420 Rotten Tomatoes Score: 63% At what point are we going to admit that the Wachowski siblings are the new M. Night Shyamalan?