10 Steps to Planning a Great Office Holiday Party

December 19th, 2012

Steps to Planning a Great Office Christmas Holiday Party

1) Watch Your Language

Don’t call it a Christmas party. It’s a Holiday Celebration, or a Festive Gathering or a Winter Activity containing some-but-not-an-excessive-amount of Merriment.

2) Shop Around

Approach as many nearby hotels as possible about renting their ballrooms for the celebration. In an effort to lure you in they will often bring cookies right to your office cubicle!

3) This Ain’t A Slumber Party

Under no circumstance should you actually book the venue at a hotel. (Remember, the only goal in approaching them was for the cookies.) Hotels mean overnight stays, which means spending that much extra time with your work colleagues. And nobody likes where that ends up!

4) Think Sexy

Book a venue just sexy enough that your co-workers won’t be inclined to bring their children and yet not so sexy that Jorge from the mail room will try to court you all night in his native Spanish.

5) Steal Presents

Organize a “Secret Santa” – you know, the one where you either get to pick a surprise gift, or steal a gift from someone who already chose a gift? Because nothing says “the spirit of the Holidays” like stealing Karen from HR’s cheese knife set! Take that, Karen.

6) Make Like Swayze

Ensure there is a dance floor available so that you may observe several of your co-workers trying desperately to cling to a youth that has long since waved good bye to them. Also, holding a “Whose arms are the flabbiest?” contest is always a sure-fire hit!

7) Force People To Dress Up

Have a theme party! In addition to it already having the theme of “Moderate holiday merriment” such as; the ugly sweater party, the Christmas cookie exchange or better yet, the Chess party, where everyone dresses like their favourite Chess piece, and engage in a real-life Chess game… But actually, only the boss dresses up like the King and the rest of you dress like the lowly peons you are! Except Karen, she can be a knight, for obvious reasons.

8) Limit Food Options

Just serve bread… or bacon. Only one or the other though, not both.

9) Spot The Noob

Have the boss hand-deliver a special gift to the newest employee on the team just to see if he’s able to pick out his face from the crowd.

10) Pictures Are Power

Get one of those photo booths to see how many incriminating photos you can take of co-workers that you can later use as blackmail to get you out of tight work-related situations (ie. Like not showing up for work one day because you woke up drunk and in Mexico somehow. Good thing you have those photos of Thomas and Sonya! Right?!? Right!?!)