It’s Oscar time: Nominations are in, oscar pool ballots have been counted and the chatter is… sorta chattering. You know, as much as people can chatter about movies nobody watched. As with all slim-pickings, it’s a close race between who’s gonna take home the gold statues this year. Will George Clooney make a trip to the stage and high-five fellow nominee Brad Pitt? Will a subtitle film avec cute dog win best picture? Who knows.

With the Oscar’s upon us this weekend, it is doubtful you will have the time to catch-up on not four, five, or six, but nine best picture nominees, we’ve decided to help you out.

Check out the 2012 Oscar nominations in movie posters with full spoilers *so proceed with caution*.

(Posters courtesy of Entertainment Wise, Rebecca Merriman and WENN; created by The Shiznit).

Also, check out the Movie Napkins version of these films’ synopses.

The Artist

Synopsis: A film sans speech. Reviews claim that it is charming, romantic and has a very cute dog.

The Descendants

Synopsis: George Clooney, the girl from Secret Life of an American Teenager and miscellaneous family travel live in Hawaii and grieve death of coma lady.

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

Synopsis: Based on a novel by Jonathan Safran Foer about the tragic events of 9/11. Tom Hanks plays deceased dad and Sandra Bullock reprises her role as Oscar-bate movie mom.

The Help

Synopsis: White guilt: The Movie, with wonderful acting shout outs to Viola Davis and Emma Stone.

Hugo

Synopsis: Martin Scorsese’s childhood in 3D. A spectacle about a boy, Jude Law and Ben Kingsley who create a cool robot that writes.

Midnight in Paris

Synopsis: Owen Wilson acts like Woody Allen and walks around Paris making clever art references that I did not understand.

Moneyball

Synopsis: Brad Pitt and Jonah Hill talk about math and how stats based team building equals success! Linsanity.

Tree of Life

Synopsis: Terrance Malick book-ends Sean Penn’s life with the beginning and ending of the entire Universe.

War Horse

Synopsis: A story about a horse who goes to war. Check out this trailer from Film Drunk for more War Horsey.

So get your popcorn ready and lots o’booze, ’cause it’s time to get your drink on to a long night of “thank you mom, dad, god” speeches. But enjoy your evening of glitz and glamour, ’cause you can also rest assured that in 50 years, Billy Crystal’s corpse will be fitted with animatronics so that he can continue to host the Oscars forever more.