After a long day at the office, nothing says relaxing like heading out to the pub with your friends, or going straight home to see the family – and by “family”, I mean liquor cabinet. Because Bite is now featuring Arrested Development, we’ve decided to create a few beverages, inspired by characters from the show, for you to try.
The Michael Bluth
Imagine your family is composed of idiots who constantly bombard you with problems (not that hard, I know), and your the one who shoulders the responsibility of trying to solve those problems, when you’d really rather be chillin’ in Cabo, meeting women, or even just trying to be a good dad by spending more time with your son. Yep, that’s what Michael Bluth has to deal with on a daily basis. The Michael Bluth is a shot of red wine, because with all the crap going on in your life, you really don’t have the time to stop and enjoy glass.
The George Sr.
Manipulation is a very important tool when you’re trying to run a business, especially when you’re trying to do it from prison. As a convict, and eventually an escaped convict on the run, you’re really only able to make drinks out of whatever you can find, so the George Sr. is a glass of tequila, imported directly from Mexico, and hidden from Police by keeping it in a Ziploc bag in the toilet.
You know you have an alcohol abuse problem when you have a glass of vodka with every meal, and that includes breakfasts. So, the the Lucille is a shot of vodka, chased by a slice of toast (possibly buttered). Feel free to substitute the toast for pills, another of Lucille’s favourite substances.
When you’re a professional magician, you live to impress people with your illusions (don’t call them “tricks”, those are for prostitutes). As such, the Gob is a rum and coke with a bit of dry ice in it to create the illusion that you’re drinking a magic potion.
It’s tough being an attractive activist – you go to all these protests, but sometimes forget to take off your fur coat. Lindsay’s signature drink includes a mix blend of organic vegetables of your choosing, licorice root, and a shot of goldschlager. It looks delicious, but once you have a taste, you’ll spit it back out.
As the youngest of the Bluths, Buster has never really forgotten how to be a kid. So, his drink is a juice box, flavour of your choosing, with the straw inserted. You may have to get someone else to bend the straw for you if your one hand has been replaced by a hook, and be sure not to drink too much juice.
The George Michael
Feeling neglected by your father? Struggling in a world where your success may only take you as far as manager of a banana stand? Have an incestuous crush on your cousin? Than the George Michael, a banana-rum smoothie, is for you.
Even actors get down sometimes, and often need something to perk themselves up. I’m talking about alcoholic beverages, of course. The Tobias is a blended beverage, mixing various berries, vanilla ice cream, and blue sambuca which gives it that Blue Man look. Be sure to keep your glass constantly covered – it would be shameful if it were fully exposed.
What would shock your parents more than sneaking into their liquor cabinet, grabbing whatever you can find, and drinking it right in front of them? Well, it’s easy to do if you’re having a Maeby: a glass of baileys which you tell everyone is chocolate milk.
So feel free to mix yourself one of these drinks – it’s the perfect way to relax after a long work week (and before the next one). And don’t forget to catch Arrested Development weeknights at 7:30/8:30 p on Bite TV.