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Top Ten Electronic Toys

July 22nd, 2010

Barbie is gonna turn little girls everywhere into YouTube fanatics. That’s right, Barbie Video Girl Doll is the new incarnation of the popular toy which lets kids record Barbie’s experiences with a buit-in camera in her necklace, and an LCD screen on her back. Now Barbie and Ken can make their own sex tapes.Since this is the latest in electronic toys, we’re gonna celebrate by looking at some of the gizmos that came before it.

10. Tiger Electronics’ Hand-held Video Games

These things went out of style pretty fast once people realized that they could get more value out of Nintendo’s Gameboy or Sega’s Gamegear (the two most popular hand-held gaming devices of the time). With the lack of ability to change games, low quality graphics, and SFX that sound like midi ringtones, these various games seem to have fallen off the market. Maybe if they incorporate 3D technology?

9. Cabbage Patch Kids Snacktime Kids

The toy was originally intended to eat tiny plastic food that came with the doll.  But what it really hungered for was the hair of young children, and with those soulless eyes, it looked like the Cabbage Patch version of Damien.

8. My First Sony

These were a bunch of sony products that were geared for kids. It’s not a bad idea and a great way to get kids hooked on electronics early. Steve Jobs should make a My First iPhone for kids.

7. Simon

Named after the classic game “Simon Says”, the toy would flash a color and you’d have to match that color by pressing it. Simon would add more and more combos as you went, making it more challenging. This eventually evolved into, what we know today as the video game Rock Band.

6. Armatron

The most amazing advancement in robotics for children was Radio Shack’s Armatron. It could pick things up, and then put them down. How come they never made a cartoon spin-off of this toy? Armatron could fight crime by lifting up bad guys and then putting them in jail. They’d need some young, hip kid with a baseball cap to help him out, and he’d always be saying “C’mon Armatron, let’s arm-or up.”

5. Tickle Me Elmo

It’s everybody’s favorite Sesame Street Muppet, Elmo, and he’s letting you tickle the crap outta him. The toy became so popular, it sold off store shelves very quickly. It wasn’t long before people were torturing the poor doll with hilarious and creepy results.

4. Tamagotchi

I remember being in school and EVERYONE had one of these things. Because it demanded constant attention, people had to feed the little monsters underneath their desks during math, and every once in a while you’d hear a little electronic chirp to let you know it took a virtual crap.

3. Speak & Spell

Hooray for educational toys. This game taught kids how to spell, and that’s about all it did. Actually, it’s a pretty lame toy now that I think about it. Why take the time to learn to spell when I can run around outside, with sharp sticks, playing “Cops and Robbers”.

2. Furby

What the heck were these things? A cross-breed between and owl and a hamster?  Whatever they were, they were obviously the work of Satan.

1. Teddy Ruxpin

Ok, this commercial probably didn’t boost Teddy’s popularity; who wants to give their kid a toy built by Dr. Frankenstein? Whatever, the cartoon was an amazing epic that featured crazy monsters and cool lands that was like The Hobbit on LSD.