I am a fast food burger connoisseur. I have tried all major fast food burger chains in North America, and enjoy discovering new Mom ‘n’ Pop burger joints in any new city I visit. Burgers are a subject I am very passionate about.

My ex-girlfriend used to think that I ate too many burgers, expressing concern for my lifespan and long-term health. But she didn’t understand that I was undertaking a rigorous and highly scientific study in order to discover definitively what is the greatest Fast Food Burger. Loosen your belt a notch, because here we go…

5. Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger – Wendy’s

Wendy’s comes in at #5 with a burger that is good when you have been having your favorite too often and you need a break from the everyday. Or you’re in a part of town where Wendy’s is your nearest burger joint.

Wendy’s burgers are charming for the fact that they’re square, and the foil wrapping keeps the heat in to give this burger a coagulation of flavors you won’t see again until we reach #1. Wendy’s is not the place I think of when I’m in the mood for a full meal but for a quick burger fix, their Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger does the trick.

4. Big Mac – McDonald’s

The classic. This is almost synonymous with the very concept of Fast Food. The Big Mac is not my favorite, but I can totally relate to the “Big Mac Attack” when you get that craving that nothing else will cure but this particular item.

McDonald’s failing is in the fact that every few years, they shrink the size of the burger patties. It alternates with raising the prices; they do one, and then a year or two later they do the other. The ultimate Big Mac was served in the late nineties when the ratio of meat to toppings to bun was perfect. But nowadays the ratio is off slightly. They’re still good though.

3. Nature Burger – Lick’s

This is a controversial pick because it is a veggie burger. Also, is Lick’s a national or regional chain? If you don’t have a Lick’s location near you, take a trip to find one because their veggie burger is so good that people who eat meat come from far and wide for it.

A friend who is a vegetarian often gets Nature Burgers for her friends and doesn’t tell them that they’re not eating meat. It’s that good, and that realistic. The jury is out on whether this counts truly as a fast food burger or if it’s a proper restaurant burger, but how good it is merits inclusion in either list.

2. Cheeseburger – McDonald’s

McDonald’s has the basic hamburger and cheeseburger template perfected to such a degree that the rest of their success is the art of building on that perfect foundation. Their Cheeseburger is unmatched in the industry.

It’s about the elegrance and grace of the item more than about a satisfying shot of meat and grease. Its small stature means that it’s not satisfying as food, but that’s probably a good thing since we are talking about burgers here. On the flip side, you may end up eating a whole bunch at once, since they’re so little

1. The Whopper – Burger King

Burger King has reached perfection with The Whopper. As The Lord of the Rings trilogy is to cinema, so The Whopper is to fast food: the artform perfected. It’s got just the right heft that it’s satisfying as food without being unwieldly, and two of them as a meal is one of those rare once or twice a year treats that I enjoy.

Getting a Whopper is recommended immediately following the lunch or dinner hours. You don’t have time to be wasting in prime time rush lines, but you don’t want them waiting for your order before they make it. A Whopper needs to ‘set’; it needs a few moments for the bun to absorb the heat and flavor, and for the grease and condiments to interact. A Whopper assembled fresh to order is just not the same.

Did your favorite burger not make the list? Leave a comment or email me below.